Pissed Jeans - Half Divorced
The Allentown, PA natives Pissed Jeans are back and more pissed than ever with what has got to be my favorite album in the last ten years by anybody. They start out this brooding masterpiece, Half Divorced, with the post-apocalyptic zombie fever dream of Killing All the Wrong People which features an insanely bone crushing array of riffs by guitarist Brad Fry and the rhythmic disorder to back it from drummer Sean McGuinness and bassist Randy Huth. A mesh of vocalist Matt Korvette's garbled screams transforms into the high intensity Anti-Sapio in which he proclaims his unwillingness to abide by the norms even if it means disforming the standard definition of intelligence over the truly unruly cast of instruments accompanying him. It is a physical impossibility to not start a circle pit in your bedroom to this one and I would believe if this song alone sparked a nationwide outrage and flooding of dangerous bedroom moshpit injuries.
Straight into the slow, sludgy, and Albini-esque riffage of Helicopter Parent, where it seems Korvette is battling with his own or somebody else's parenting tactics. Either way he's clearly fed up and so am I. Even as a childless person I can still relate to the frustration slammed within every inch of this song.
Onto the next gem, Cling to A Poison Dream, is a song anyone from any sect of punk can thoroughly appreciate. This song gets me so stoked and I can't say that about a crazy amount of songs in general. Upon first listen, the listener is teleported instantly into the best memory of playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater they ever had in the most beautiful way. Seriously this song deserves to be a skate video game's entire soundtrack. I personally cannot get enough of it. Everything you need and a cold 6-pack is packed into it and it's amazing.
We are then segwayed into the looped gut punch of Sixty Two Thousand Dollars in Debt, a dark and raging anthem about debt frustrations that is equally musically grim and really makes you feel in debt even if you aren't. Korvette then reminds us all that Everywhere Is Bad and he indeed does not care if it makes you sad, continuing to announce his bemusement at your hometown. As the song unfolds the realization is that there isn't a single physical location that Korvette doesn't have a negative opinion about and I couldn't be more on board with it.
Leading to the gloomy tune of Junktime, in which you can tell by his classic tongue-in-cheek lyrical tone Korvette has spawned a character who seems to be observing disturbing activity, whether he is involved or not is unclear, but it almost seems certain this person takes pleasure in morbid and unpleasnant ongoings. I love it. Following right after is the tension-packed, Alive With Hate, filled with aggression and angry confessions of a madman so contemptuous that he seems to question his own ability to love or be a decent human being. Another reason why I love Korvette's writing which he displays here and all over this record is his sincerely impressive way of working the average every day scenario into a quite deep and impactful underlying message about society or whatever it may be.
The next track, Seatbelt Alarm Silencer, is a high octane joyride that dives into absurdly real idiotic statements you might find on Reddit, "No car tells me what to do," blurts Korvette in defiance to the seatbelt remembrance mechanism. You can't help but bang your head until it bleeds to this frantically brainless and beautiful work of sonic art. The Jeans make no waste of time jumping straight into what might be in my opinion the darkest track lyrically and musically, (Stolen) Catalytic Converter, in which Korvette voices his desolate disdain for a specific person or rather a specific type of person. The song is jam-packed with devilish riffs writhing underneath an angry wave of frustration sent out by Korvette's distinct and gravelly growl.
Second to last we have, Monsters, a cover of the classic track by Pink Lincolns. I love this track. It's message is so cohesive with the overarching theme of humanity that surrounds the record. I'm going to say what no band ever wants to hear but...please do more covers. Last up but most certainly not least is the unexpectedly uplifting, Moving On. This track moves into previously uncharted territory for the band being the most nostalgic and melodic tune of the batch. I've never heard the band like this before but I am completely drawn into the world they created with this cool and fun jam. Korvette voices his nonchalant and complete disinterest to adhere to societal norms or care about what the outside world has to say about him, and if that isn't the definition of punk I don't know what is. Needless to say, the Jeans are moving on, and hopefully only to the next studio session to flesh out another record as killer as this one is. An absolute must-buy.
